Sunshine and scribbles

................................................tracy. jared & brand new baby Morgan.

Last night, Morgan and I found ourselves in a heated pool just slightly bigger than the size of a hot tub, surrounded by six other babies (and a parent to accompany each) splashing around and giggling at each other.

Aqua Babies.

Adventurous. Hilarious. Expensive.

Worth it.

Jared sat on the side and watched while we sang silly water songs and passed air-filled balls around. I worried about what germs we might be catching. Morgan tried diving in. Like a bazillion times. That kid is a wild comanche in the water. I tell you what.

Issac and Michelle were there with their 9 ½ month old twin boys. Adorable twin boys, I might add. Miracles, I hear. Both of them. It took years, and she went through much to get them here safe and sound.

We talked about c-sections and scars. Sir Doctor Dyer also delivered her darlings. She, too, had an extensive labor.

She told me how scared she was once they announced her emergency surgery. I let her speak. I know how a woman, at times, is so compelled to share her birth story. It’s therapy. It helps one heal. I know this firsthand. So, I listened. She said she felt so alone and scared among a room full of strangers preparing her body for surgery. And how Isaac wasn’t allowed to come in until after they had cut her stomach, and how she only was able to see her newborns for a brief moment before Isaac and the nurses left the room for infancy care.

I knew the procedure. I could picture the scene. I had been there, too.

I knew of her struggles. They had been (still are) my own. Bless her.

Driving home, I sat in the car with my capris over my wet swim suit. The car seat was soaking up every extra ounce of water. Morgan was fussy and hungry in the back.

I told Jared of the silver lining I had just discovered, and it came in the form of a darling, familiar face. A face belonging to Tracy.

For forty-one hours (and nine months before that), Tracy looked after and cared for my body and the baby inside of it. When I labored, she held me, touched my face. She spoke to me. She looked into my eyes. Before the pain overcame me, I had told her that I wanted this experience to be unaided with medicine of any kind. She held me to that, even when I had stopped believing it was something I could do.

When surgery was imminent, she stayed ever near. She continued to hold me, my hands. She was with me as they prepared my body. As I lay there, unable to move, she spoke to me. She kissed my head, and I was calmed. With tears in both of our eyes, I thanked her.

And then my baby was born.

This laborious journey we had been on, we had been there together. Me. Jared.

And Tracy.

She was, for me, that silver lining - that assuring face among strangers.

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Tracy Gibson and Nicole Lamb are my Certified Nurse Midwives

at the Pocatello Women's Health Clinic.

I have very tender love in my heart for them both.