Sweetest chapter.

Some evenings, when the house has been wiped and swept and straightened, and there’s nothing but quiet to be heard, I gently open the boys’ door and watch them sleep. I long for them, even though they are right there in front of me. That’s how I feel tonight, even though I looked forward to early bedtime all day long.

In two weeks, there will be an indefinite closing of what I know to be the sweetest chapter of my life. It has been hard to identify this and bring these feelings to words, but here they are. This chapter of five and a half beautiful years is ending. And even though a beautiful, grand, adventurous new chapter is about to begin, that doesn’t change that these sweet, unique years are in memory now. Sweet, treasured memory. I can’t even type these words without having to close my eyes. Oh, the sweet, slow days of early motherhood. How I will yearn for them in years to come. How I dreamed of them all my life. They have been so very sweet.

Oh, the love I’ve poured into nurturing my firstborn. The traditions we’ve made, the adventures we’ve seen. All the ‘firsts’ we’ve experienced together (so many to come). It’s been him and I for so long. How blessed I have been to be able to create a home for him to be loved and cherished in. Nothing else in this world is a better privilege than this; than being ‘mother’.

How strange it is to see time for what it is. We cannot change it. We cannot stop or pause it, no matter how desperately we want to. If ever I have wanted to, it is now.

My sweet, sweet Morgan. My tiny soulmate. You’ll never know how thankful I am God sent you to me. How I love you more than words could ever say, and far more than you’ll ever know.