November Twenty-second: Bangkok, Thailand.

A few weeks after Danny was born, Stacy stopped by for a short visit. While she was here, Morg dug through her purse, like he does with every purse belonging to the women he loves. He's usually a gum thief, and quarters, too, if he finds any, but this time he pulled out the tiniest silver car. She explained that the car used to be Jared's when he was little and when he left on his mission, she put it in her purse so she could carry it around with her everywhere she went. She's kept it with her ever since.

That day, she gave that car to Morg, and it broke my postpartum heart.

In a few short years, I will be there with boy boys. I think about it a lot. I think about how it will feel to say goodbye, and how it will feel when they return. I wonder to myself, in this dark, moonless world, how I should go about raising men of God.

I think about Mr. Keller and how deep inside his heart is this conviction that I both love and envy. And I know exactly where (and how) he found it. It's such a simple truth that you fall in love those you serve. And while he was over there lifting, teaching, and helping bring people to Jesus Christ, he was changing and growing and becoming exactly what we, as a family, would need him to be, years down the road. I believe sacrifice brings forth blessings tenfold, and I will teach this to my sons.

What I want for them is real strength, accompanied with tenderness. I want them to recognize truth, and that there is value in hard work. I want them to believe in Jesus Christ, and in the reality and perfection of the atonement. I want them to be faithful and pure. I want them to know where it is they can find that precise, inner peace that can sustain them through anything.

I want for my sons to be like their father. And his father. And mine. And I believe a heartfelt two years in a white, white field can do this.

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And we talk of Christ, we rejoice in Christ, we preach of Christ, we prophesy of Christ..that our children may know to what source they may look for a remission of their sins. 2nd Nephi 25:26