It’s early morning on your third birthday. I’ve fed Danny and the house is quiet enough that I should be going back to sleep, but I keep thinking of things I want you to know, and so here I am.
Two nights ago at the dinner table, I (Mrs. Hormones), started to cry. It was over something fairly small, because now, two days later, I can’t even remember what it was about. When you saw that I was sad, you stopped eating, climbed up beside me, kissed my tears, and then you asked if I was feeling better. Your dad and I both melted. I cannot believe how tender you are!
I’ve been thinking about the day you were born; the days before, and all the days after. I was thinking about being scared and unprepared, excited, and so vulnerable, not knowing what to expect or how I would fit into such a new life. Motherhood.
November 3rd, 2008 was the day my soul folded itself into two. And how it’s stretched and grown since then. How it has deepened. And how it feels joy!
You are the reason for it all. You are the one, sweet boy that made me a mother. I should never think it a small or coincidental thing. It was intended and meant to be. And everything that was hard and scarring about how you entered into our lives seems to have faded and hardly hurts at all anymore. How can it when my heart and arms are so full?
I love you, my Morgan boy. Happy third birthday! I can't wait to spoil you all day long!
{November 3rd, 2008 - 1:30pm}
"No one else will know
the strength of my love for you.
After all,
you're the only one who knows
what my heart sounds like
from the inside."
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