First day.

I dropped this one off at his first year of official preschool this morning. He was so excited. When we first pulled up, he asked me if he had to go. I told him only if he wanted to. I asked him if he wanted to. He said yes. He told me earlier in the morning that he wanted to go in himself. Then, when we were there, he asked me if I could help him go up to the door. Then he asked me to go in with him and he held onto me tight. I’m so glad he did, because I needed him to. He was met so warmly by his teacher and he was just fine in no time. I walked out and fell apart with my back to the door. I cried all the way home. And all morning. And I told Mr. Keller we may need to have ten more children because I don’t think I can handle all this change and independence. It feels like yesterday Morg and I were brand new, trying to figure out life together. It hardly feels like five years. 

My firstborn is almost five years old. My heart could break. 

It could also burst.