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It occurred to me at 430am this morning, that I was doing the sweetest thing in the world. Feeding a baby. My baby.

Whenever I go to pick Danny up from his crib, he smiles at me a sort of breathless laugh and he kicks his legs as fast as his can and lifts his arms to reach for me.  He does this because he adores me. I am the first person his little heart adores. And I'll be the first person, the first woman he'll love. If ever I could wonder what heaven feels like, I'm absolute it is this feeling. Nothing that came before, or that will follow after this wild and crazy thing called motherhood could ever fill me quite like this. And when I recognize these sort of perfect moments, as fleeting as they may be, it helps me identify how intentional it is when God opens my heart just enough to help me feel deeply how all the many things unpleasant are worth it.  No matter how I feel permanently sleep-deprived and exhausted, I'm nurturing two tiny souls. And they are growing.