A woman, Jessica, bent over in grief as she mourned the passing of her husband this week.
He was thirty one, I believe.
He has passed on.
They were friends of friends. We grew up in the same town. She was older than me. And honestly, I don’t recall if I ever spoke once to her.
Even still, I sat on my living room floor, next to my son, and shed tears on her behalf.
On behalf of her family.
On behalf of her children.
I pictured her. I pictured myself as her.
I felt, all week, as though I had withered, a little, with her.
How bitter and lonely life would be without love.
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Yesterday, we bundled our ‘sickie’ -stuffed nose and all- into the carseat, and I sat beside Jared as we drove on necessary errand, through our snowed-filled town.
I asked him what, in us, makes us mourn the passing of elderly less than those that die young.
And do we really mourn less?
Do we, or don’t we? Should, or shouldn’t we?
We couldn’t conclude.
But, if we do, when is it that we begin to let go?
Could I ever let go?
Does the passing of time really ease the aching of such a cavernous loss? Or are there some wounds that go too deep?
The Savior provides us with comfort – the only kind that truly matters.
How, then, do we immerse ourselves entirely in Him? And if we can find a way to do such, is it truly enough to heal us, even amidst the loss of those we love the deepest – even our eternal companions?
I have leaned into my Savior for many things. This week, I leaned into Him to take comfort in knowing that our earthly companions – spouses and children – are not just earthly. They are eternal.
In this life, we feel emotion deeply and soundly. Joy and sorrow are to go hand in hand, and we feel each with a divine capacity within our souls. We are given, we love. We lose, we mourn.
We endure.
We do not end.
Not ever.
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I have a testimony of Jesus Christ. I know that we can lean our entire broken selves into Him and He can recreate us. And He can do it entirely.
I have a testimony of Jesus Christ. I know that we can lean our entire broken selves into Him and He can recreate us. And He can do it entirely.
How I am thankful for Him.
Hollie, I felt the same way about the situation. I knew who jessica was but I never really talked with her and we weren't close but when I heard the news I was so sad for her and shed tears also her behalf. I, more than ever, was grateful that families are forever!
ReplyDeleteI have contemplated many of these questions myself. I have often thought about the fact that I could not have faced such a battle as Jessica as gracefully as she did. She is such a strong women and has been such an amazing example to me over the past several years. Growing up she was my idol in many ways and I can say that even now. I weep, even now thinking about loosing my sweet eternal companion before old age. I cant even imagine how she feels and yet I know that she has an incredible amount of faith. Thanks for this post. =)
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