Sunshine and scribbles

{me and my sweetheart}

august 22nd, 2007

Every night since forever, my grandfather would tuck himself into bed much earlier than grandma. He was a quiet man, not game for much social interaction at all. Even at family birthday parties, as soon as cake was served, grandma would get a squeeze on her knee, which meant that it was time. And then they were homeward bound.

Every night for years, my grandfather would lay down on my grandma’s side of the bed to warm her place. Consider the charm in this. She would come. They would sleep, then wake to live their day the same all over again. They lived. And loved. For years.

He has passed.

Without him, she continues on.

And late at night, when she sleeps, she misses warm sheets.

Consider their love. How perfect.

---

Yesterday afternoon, while Susan was grieving the loss of her husband, I thought about what it would mean to me if I were her, and knowing that once I left the graveside, I would face life much differently.

I decided I would be overcome.

The truth is, I need my husband, my sweetheart. I need him always. I need his comfort and strength. I need him because he knows me. He knows what I want, he knows where we are going, and he knows we go there together. He works tirelessly. He is honest. He is heartfelt, a friend always, to me. As we spent our Saturday, working side by side, I found myself staring at him - gazing, really, so very tenderly. He is such my treasure. So perfect for me. And who was the girl before? Who would I be without him, if I had chosen a path that lead somewhere else?

I know that we wake and sleep, side by side. I know that it is heavenly here in my home. I know that together, him and I make it that way. And we do so with eternal love in our hearts.

So, how can one move on without the other? How does this happen? How does one just let go, even if it is temporary? How does one eat and breathe and live when one is completely broken? The truth is, when I question these things, I am overcome. I don’t really fully understand how I could endure such things.

I know that I believe, in my heart, that we continue on. I know that companionship, if sanctioned within the temple, is eternal. I know of prayer, and how, even in its simplistic form, it uplifts and strengthens. I know the stirring power of the priesthood. And I know that the only true hope - the one pure, promising hope, in any and all circumstance, comes from a perfect source – a source that encompasses and warms and heals.

Today, I am thankful for a Savior - my Savior – that keeps me, calms and comforts me.

He does this for all – the lost, the weary, the lonely.

The grieved.

To the Noble family: Jared and I are praying for your sweet family in this time of need. We love you.