baby sweetness

right now, my house is quiet. morgan and jared are sleeping. it's raining outside.

it's been raining for days. i love it. it feels like i've moved into a coastal town. and really, i've always wanted to move to a coastal town.

i've been picking up the house, just like i do every morning. i clean, and then by the end of the day, i'm far too tired to put things away, and then it starts over again. beautiful.

i love keeping house. i love being a mother. and a wife. i love making our house a home.

i was just folding morgan's blankets and straightening his crib and realized, once again, how a new baby is so magical. i remember the excitement of setting up his room, even though it was months before he arrived. i remember sitting on the floor up against the wall almost every night with butterflies in my tummy as i looked at around at his perfect little room, with everything in its perfect little place, and i remember thinking long and hard, and marveling about bringing an entirely new life into this world of ours. i remember marveling at how he would be ours. and how i would dress him and change him and bathe him. hold him.

what i really need to say at this moment is that i love my little boy. very much. i love his little blankets. and his little clothes, and how our home has turned into his, with all of that baby-ness that's involved. i love the smells and the sounds. and how the spirit dwells so much stronger here.

i love that i am mother. it fits, somehow, with all of my imperfections. i belong here. and that is the sweetest thing to me.

november 22nd, 2008