Today we ran errands. Lots of errands. I think we left the house three different times, off to different places. What a good little shopper, I have. He’s a good sport until I push the limit a little too far. Then he fusses and then it’s over. We head home.
We hibernate most days. I stay in sweats. I sweep the floor and do the dishes and push “play” on the dvd player a number of times replaying Baby Einstein. It’s Morg’s favorite. And mine too. I can get things done this way.
Getting things done. I don’t know why most days I rush around. I am not in hurry. I can’t remember all the times I have told myself to hold him more, especially while he sleeps. I tell myself this will be the only child I will be able to sit and hold without the immediate demands of other children.
I should hold him more.
I should run my fingers along his hair line and listen to the quiet mumbles he makes while he sleeps.
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Tonight I laid him in bed while he was still awake. He talked, cooed. To himself. For a long while. We listened outside the bedroom. He has the sweetest voice. He makes our home sweet.
Then he was quiet. Without crying, he went to sleep. I checked on him and came out in tears. I told Jared he needs me less and less each day.
How can I hold on tighter?
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“Recognize that the joy of motherhood comes in moments. There will be hard times and frustrating times. But amid the challenges, there are shining moments of joy and satisfaction.” M. Russell Ballard
“The biggest mistake I made as a parent is the one that most of us make. … I did not live in the moment enough. This is particularly clear now that the moment is gone, captured only in photographs. There is one picture of my three children sitting in the grass on a quilt in the shadow of the swing set on a summer day, ages six, four, and one. And I wish I could remember what we ate, and what we talked about, and how they sounded, and how they looked when they slept that night. I wish I had not been in such a hurry to get on to the next thing: dinner, bath, book, bed. I wish I had treasured the doing a little more and the getting it done a little less.” Anna Quindlen
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Tonight my sweet child is one day older, bigger. He's more a little boy, and less a baby.
What have I missed?
Wow, it breaks my heart when I think that I will never get this exact moment with Maleah ever again! There will be others but what about right now! It makes me sad of all the times I have been frustrated because Maleah wouldn't sleep unless I was holding her, I wish I would have enjoyed it more! Thanks for helping me remember to take in every moment because I will never get it again!
ReplyDeletewell put hollie. i can't believe that my boys are 8 mo old already, and although they still need me quite a bit, they don't need me as much. i love them with all of my heart. it took us 3 long years to get them and i try to cherish every moment, but i find myself pushing play on the dvr way too much and playing or holding them way too little... thanks for opening my eyes.
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